Manic Depression- Does Anyone Have A Friend/relative Suffering From It?
Posted by: Alan in Manic Depression, tags: Anyone, Depression, Does, Friend/relative, From, Have, Manic, Suffering
My sister has suffered from bipolar/manic depression for almost twenty years. On average she is hospitalised under section 2 once a year. The same cycle occurs each time; i recognise it early but either she does not take her medication or her outreach team do not respond appropriately. Often she hates me or other family with a vengeance and yet expeccts our undivided loyalty. Even now, every time it happens, it’s extremely distressing. I know it must be awful for her, but I’ve had enough. Feeling like this makes me feel very guilty. But i am tired, tired of hearing the same rantings, tired of being shouted at and physically attacked, tired of having hour long phone calls in which I am not allowed to say a word, otherwise she screams at me or cries non stop. I’m a single mum of two energetic boys and it takes a lot of effort to keep things together. I find my sister drains me emotionally, totally. This is selfish but i am so sick of her illness.
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December 4th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
i’m manic depressant and know that i can be difficult sometimes with the people i love. those close to me have been very supportive and i’ve developed an excellent set of coping skills and though i don’t always take my meds, remain relatively stable. i’ve needed a lot of help and support through the years. what you must realize is that you need help and support too. just like there are programs for the significant others and children of alcoholics, there are support groups and chat rooms for those close to someone with mental illness. one thing that has helped my mom a lot is that she has a friend who also has a manic depressant child. venting your frustration here is a good thing, and i hope you can connect with someone either here or through a site like DBSA (depression bipolar support alliance). also, there are many excellent books available that are geared to family members.
December 4th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Hey!! you are not alone!
It is the same for me and my partner. 22 years now. I have learnt to switch off during the ‘manic’ phase and hopefully he responds well in hospital and can come home soon.
Like you I am the worst person in the world, he has done terrible things to me when ‘ill’
but that is what it is, being ‘ill’
I have wished him dead before now, and then felt guilty.
It is all about personal, inner strength, and how long you can sustain it. I think I am doing pretty well so far.
( he is lovely when well!)
December 5th, 2009 at 6:06 am
i have it but i have been able to control it. i was scared to death to leave my house and was just scared in general. i was able to get my life back wit hmeds and coping skills. i sis the imposable and i didnt let and illness control my life
December 5th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Honey my husband is now 70 and he has had depression all of his life. We’ve been married for 36 years and it has all been gloom and doom. If I see a beautiful sunshine he sees a dark cloud. He had a physically abusive father and he has never gotten over it. We’ve just never had the money to get help and I really don’t know if it would have helped anyway because his depression is so deep seated. I feel so sorry for him, but I’m sick of it. I have never known him to have a happy moment. He blames me for everything that goes wrong. We have so much to thank God for, but he says he’s never had a blessing. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, but also the saddest. I always remember what the commercial says, depression hurts everyone. I don’t know who has it worse, the one that has it or the one that lives with it. God bless you Honey and your family. You’re in my prayers, and please put us in yours.
December 5th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Both my mother and her brother are both manic depressive/schitophrenic. The family ended up cutting ties with my mother because we couldn’t take her. My uncle was better than her, but would have boughts like your sister, and then would also call us and threaten suicide. This went on for years, then came an inpass with me, his kids and his exwife. We told him he had to stop calling us if he was going to be abusive. He just stopped calling period. We continued to call him, but he would refuse our calls. He finally committed suicide 2 years ago.
I’m not going to tell you how to handle your sister, and maybe some professional advice would be better than mine, but I can say that I wish we’d handled my uncle differently, we are always wondering if we hadn’t told him to stop calling if we could have prevented his suicide….
December 5th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Physical violence is not a common symptom of bipolar. She needs to be developing some coping skills. After 20 years with a diagnosis, she should be aware of the symptoms and able to control them somewhat. Honestly, it sounds like she is drinking or doing drugs, instead of exercising and eating right which is a better way to control it. Also, watch the caffeine intake.
You should realize that it is a terrible illness that when there is nothing to lose will probably end in suicide. Sorry about your burden, but you may be the last thing she is clinging to.
December 5th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
My youngest sister had suffered from very bad depression for over ten years followed by several suicide attempts. She used to have nightmares and used shout in her sleep. Even though we went to doctor regularly she suffered from mood swings several times a month. Luckily one of our family friend member suggested us yoga theraphy and medication, after 7 to 8 months she was under control…but sadly she got the attack again, when she lost her new born baby .. this time her husband couldnot save her from sucide attack.
Still I hear my sister screams whenever I visit my brother inlaws house…
God bless her soul
December 5th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Question: when she’s stable, does she understand/cope with her illness well?
The reason I ask: I have bipolar, and I have had many phases where I stop taking my meds, and need to be hospitalized.
When I was stable, my friends confronted me, and I have a legal document in place that allows my sister-in-law and best friend to decide to have me hospitalized if “they see it coming” and I do nothing about it.
It’s helped everyone tremendously.
And try not to feel guilty. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to feel this way. You love your sister, not her actions.
Good luck!
December 6th, 2009 at 1:30 am
unfortunately there’s only one thing you can do…be there for her..
my mother in-law is like that and it kills me when she goes through her really bad spells due from maniac depression,and she’s a totally different person and you would never know who she was…why she acts like this…when her life is better than my husband and i…my in-laws are in their 50’s my father in-law brings in 170,000 a year and have a brand new house,brand new car she just got,he just bought a friken bass boat…you know why in the hell is she driven in this kind of depression when they have it all? my husband i have 2 kids and live in a trailer that’s falling apart and my husband is physically disabled…you know where i’m coming from? as for you,you’re not selfish,you’re just getting to the point where you wish she would WISE up and look at what she has and get out of the depression she’s in and be blessed for what god has given her…but that’s not going to happen,cause she’s letting it drive her to the point of what she has instead of putting herself in these moods…there’s nothing you can do for her except be there for her and them kids…i’m sorry hun.
December 6th, 2009 at 5:51 am
You could just cut her off. You don’t have to let this person ruin your life.